She was worried about the consequences of helping that woman break free. Would Joe still be there? Would he still love her that way he loved her last night? Would she lose Joe forever if that woman took charge?Joe also looked. His dominating emotion was guilt. Guilt for what he'd done to his mom all those years ago. Rather that facing his guilt Joe tried to bury it but his mother's words rang in his ears just as loudly as they did his senior year. "I hope you're satisfied with yourself. I hope you can sleep at night after what you've done to me! I hope and pray that every time you dress you'll look in the mirror and see the pathetic mess you are. You're not a man, and you'll never be a woman. Just a silly little sissy dressing up!"Joe looked in the mirror and saw the truth in his mother's words.Joe and Karen drifted in their individual patterns throughout the weekend. Several times their individual courses brought them together. Karen tried to tell Joe how good he looked. She could. How I wished I could tell him it was me that knocked her up. But that was impossible. She was very nervous that I would, in a moment of weakness, tell Ed that, "It just happened."We moved Mr. and Mrs. Hawley into a small, one-floor house with easy access and wheelchair ramps. Millie and I, much to the consternation of Tony, made arrangements to take over the family homestead. I immediately began updating the old house in my spare time.It was important that we marry as soon as possible. Ed was opposed to the company truck being parked overnight at the Hawley home, saying it was bad for business. I countered that everyone in town knew the reason our wedding had been delayed. He was right though. It was a small town and people took notice when a public employee was shacking up, especially an Assistant Librarian. Sneaking around didn't agree with either of us.Our second marriage date was called off at the last minute when it became increasingly evident that Jen was not going to have an.
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